Squawking in the Cacophony- Social Networking

“I used to be with it, but then they changed what “it” was. Now, what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me.”

-Grandpa Simpson.

I’ve been skeptical about social networking for a long time and I still don’t post very often. I keep checking in though, seemingly worried I’m missing something.

Despite my efforts to limit my network to people I actually know in the “real” world, my network of acquaintances is still getting bloated. It would be worse if I added every “friend” suggested by the system. I hesitate over the ‘accept’ button for every friend request, but how can you say “no” to somebody from grade school? For a brief, nostalgic moment we both feel excited about the miracle of modern technology bringing us all together, (cue sappy music), but then what?

Well, then you have to wade through a muck of posts about far flung acquaintances eating their “yummy” soup, having a job that “sucks”, or something similarly stupid or irrelevant. It reminds me of watching TV.

Social networking and TV surely have many redeeming qualities, but both are so full of crap I often can’t be bothered to try and find the good stuff. (I haven’t had a TV for over fifteen years, but I watch a little when I’m visiting family or staying at a hotel.) Social networking seems to mirror the horror that is “reality TV” specifically; people seem to get really excited about  fifteen minutes of shame.

Watching “Real Housewives of Orange County” recently, I found myself appalled, incredulous, irritated and depressed; all at the same time. Then I got online and found myself checking Facebook because I got an email saying somebody commented on something. Twenty minutes later I shook myself out of the stupor; irritated that I got sucked into the “boob tube”… again.

The Lowest Common Denominator

I’ve decided I’m about 19 steps into my latest journey-of-a-thousand-miles. I’m not focused on the destination or the miles however; I’m interested in the lowest common denominator – each step. Actually, I’m interested in the lowest common denominator of most things.

Today is the two year anniversary of my cat’s death. I had written a poem titled Nineteen for all the years that she was a seemingly small thing in my life. She’d seen all the supposedly “big” stuff surge and recede; relationships, houses and careers continually came and went.

Hers was a simple routine that never deviated, however. It was boring by most accounts. I fed her twice a day, cleaned her box and we’d talk. Most nights she slept in my bed. But in the last years, her painless but stiff-legged hobble as she hurried to greet me was always wistfully endearing. I truly cherished every moment we spent together regardless of how…well unremarkable, I guess it might appear.

When I think back about various phases of my life, I see them in huge, broad brush stokes; my early twenties when I was clubbing and working as a hairdresser in Hollywood or the hectic years in real estate with barely a moment to contemplate turning the big “four-oh”.

The lowest common denominator of any crude chunk of life might be the tiny day. But buried somewhere in the tiny day, in between the busy business of eating and sleeping and other “ doing” activities, is where I think the only real stuff that matter resides; pensively curling up in a patch of sunlight perhaps.

Moments of doing nothing, sitting in the sun and contemplating both the miracle and the limit of inner-species communication are meaningless to an observer, however. Even in retrospect, when I am in observer-mode, such a thing is in danger of being cast aside as an insignificant activity.

Life is a convoluted equation indeed; how do you identify the lowest common denominator?

The Blessing Of 2009

I’m forty four and this is my fourth life make-over. I’d like to think this is my last one. After three sketches, isn’t my final master piece long overdue?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have forced myself to stay on a single trajectory. If I’d stayed some course, any course, there would have been some pay off; a seasoned position in life and a fatter pay check at least. Surely then I’d feel like I’d “arrived”.

Instead, I’ve traveled a fair distance along several life paths before abandoning them. I’ve been a hairdresser, an exotic dancer and an award winning Realtor. Almost a decade with each one, but each, in some way, I inevitably outgrew.

I shed personas like some people shed clothing.

My recent (and miserable) stint in corporate America finally allowed me to appreciate the otherwise foreign humor of “Dilbert” and “The Office”. That world, however, I couldn’t bear even a single year! And while I loved sociology, I simply could not imagine fitting into the narrow commitment of graduate school and the tight laces of an academic life.

What if I’d gone to the trouble to get my PhD only to decide I really want to make jewelry?! Seriously. People may already think I’ve thrown away my life due to lack of commitment. But when you’re too high an achiever, an abrupt shift in direction looks even more dangerous and foolhardy.

2009 gave me a tremendous blessing, however, in the form of six months of unemployment. What an amazing experience it is to get to spend six months re-examining one’s life when you’re smack dab in the middle of it!

I learned three things:

1) I can live very happily on far less money than I thought possible.

2) I’ve lived with waaay too much stress, (namely in real estate), but being type A is NOT inevitable.

3) I’ve had a pretty adventurous life and many interests, but for some reason I never allowed myself to really focus on the one thing I’ve always said was my true calling.

Damn – I’d thought I was fearless.